About Beaufort

After Kathy, my wife of 37 years, passed away, I had to make a choice between being single for the next 20-30 years or finding a new wife. Since my first marriage was wonderful, I decided to try again.

How Well Do They Like Their Ex?

How well do they like their ex?  If your significant other is divorced, that is a question that you need to ask your self.

If they are at peace with their ex, then you need to be concerned that they still hoping for a reconciliation.  If they hate their ex, then you need to be concerned that they are still hoping for a reconciliation.  Either way, the ex will always be a problem.

No Room At The Inn.

Recently, I was told that there were no beds available at the relatives of my significant other where I was suppose to be staying.  No problem.  I went on line and made reservations for a motel near by.

But, that was a family “no-no”.  Even though the family had no place for me to sleep, opting for a motel was not acceptable.  I guess I was suppose to sleep in my car.

The motel slept very nice.

Staying At The Inn.

Visiting relatives is always a challenge for me.  If you stay at their house, you have to negotiate bathroom use, bedtime habits and TV usage.  But, if you get your own hotel room, you dictate your own hours so to speak.  It may be extra money but it is much more relaxing.

Family Power Struggles.

One thing about a death in the family is that it brings out the family power struggles.  And, if you happen to be the significant other in the struggle, you can sit back and watch the events unfold.  Just make sure that you stay clear of the action or you may end up as a casualty.

Funerals; Family.

If your significant other suffers a death in the immediate family, you are forced into a difficult situation.  When it comes to attending the actual funeral, just remember, you are not a member of the family.  And to assume the status of a family member without the sanction of the family matriarch/patriarch is social suicide.

Better to sit in the back of the service and wait to be asked to move to the family section than to sit in the family section and be asked to move to the back.

Funerals; Friends And Relatives.

Funerals are never fun but they are especially difficult if they involve family members of your significant other.  And, since it is your significant other, you will be expected to participate in the event.

If your significant other has their social skills in order, the two of you will greet the friends and relatives together.  But if not, you will be left on your own to try and figure out just who aunt Milly is.

So, if your significant other abandons you at the funeral, it means that either they have forgotten their manners or they are not all that interested in introducing you to their friends and relatives.  It will be up to you to make that determination.  Good luck.

Funerals; Beware!

If your significant other has a death in the family, you have a major challenge ahead of you.  And, if that death is in the immediate family, the challenge is compounded.  Crisis situations, such at this, can make or break a relationship so beware.

Hospital Visits.

At our age, chances are pretty good that your significant other will have a relative in the hospital with a serious medical condition.  And, if you don’t know this relative, hospital visits can be rather difficult.

Or to put it in other words, hospitals are not the best places when you are trying to make a good impression.  Not only are you trying to impress the person you are visiting, you are also trying to make a good impression on your significant other.  So, if you are not a Chaplin by profession, then try to think like one.

Being A Team Player.

If your significant other has been single for several years, chances are that they are pretty independent.  And, if they are independent then they may have a hard time adjusting to being a team player.  This means that you need to make a conscious effort to do things as a couple.  Otherwise, you will end up as two people living in the same house with two independent lives.

Married In The Eyes Of God.

When are a couple married in the eyes of God?  I think that it is when the couple actually consummates the relationship.

Traditionally, if the marriage was not consummated, then the marriage could simply be annulled.  Biblically, Jacob thought that he was marrying Rebecca.  And while Jacob thought that he was making his vows to Rebecca, he slept with Leah and thus, she became his wife instead.

While vows are nice, ultimately the marriage is made in the bed.  In short, if you sleep with her, you have taken for your self a wife.